


She Likes That Her Queen Sized Bed Feels Like A Twin When He's In It

by IBoatedHere



Category: Hart of Dixie
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-20
Updated: 2015-06-20
Packaged: 2018-04-05 05:29:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4167723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IBoatedHere/pseuds/IBoatedHere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the season 1 finale, Zoe makes a call to her father who makes a call to Boston who still want her for the fellowship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	She Likes That Her Queen Sized Bed Feels Like A Twin When He's In It

There aren’t too many differences between Boston and New York City. They have the same seasons and weather patterns, diverse neighborhoods, upscale restaurants, tiny little diners, bakeries, shops and parks. It’s a little more historical, a little more laid back.

But the biggest similarity between Boston and New York is how different they are from Bluebell.

Zoe pauses to look out her kitchen window at the city that she’s now calling home. In the past year she’s managed to call three separate cities (not that she would call Bluebell a city) home but this is the one that has to stick. Boston is where her dreams are supposed to be coming true. She’s finally got her fellowship and she’s on her way to becoming a real surgeon which is what she has always wanted.

Or it was what she always wanted up until five weeks ago when she decided that while Boston and the fellowship would make her a better doctor, staying in Bluebell would make her a better person and at that moment that was what was most important. But then there was that stupid wedding and getting trapped in that barn with Wade where feelings that she didn’t know either of them had came bubbling to the surface and it culminated in her calling him over to her house in a way that only he would understand then he kissed her, really kissed her; not just a brush of his lips against hers like in the barn before they got interrupted and not even when he kissed her that time when she came over to his place to yell at him for ditching her while she was building Lavon’s float for the Founders Day parade and not even like that first night she met him when she was drunk and he was just that obnoxious guy that used too much of their shared electricity. He pushed her against the wall and towards her bed (she went willingly—very willingly—but they’ve always been pushing and poking at each other so that action just kind of fits) and for a little while she started to think that maybe they could really work out. Maybe all the fighting and teasing would actually help to build a relationship instead causing it to stall out before it ever started. Then she left him when there was a knock on her door and it was stupid to get up and leave him because there’s not much she can think of that’s better than lying there with him like they were but she did; she got up and answered the door and there was George telling her everything that twelve hours beforehand she would’ve killed to hear.

It all freaked her out. Sent her into a mild panic attack and she just couldn’t deal. How was she supposed to pick between the two? They were too different and offered her different things and she didn’t want to hurt either of them. She couldn’t and ultimately didn’t and instead picked Boston. She called up her father while Wade was sleeping and he put in a call to the hospital and they still wanted her and all she wanted was a way out.

Wade kissed her goodbye that morning because he had to get to work and he floated the idea of getting together later and she numbly agreed. She wanted to tell him that she was going but he just looked so damn happy and there was no way she could watch that smile fade away from his lips.

So she just left. She was caught in the act by Lavon but even he couldn’t stop her.

“What about Wade?”

She paused as she folded another pair of shorts then dropped them into her suitcase.

“How do you know about that?”

“Lavon Hayes knows everything.”

She rolled her eyes. “That’s just physical. He won’t miss me too much.”

“You know that’s not true.”

“Yes it is.”

The bold face lie to her best friend made her lower her eyes to the floor.

“I asked you to do one thing, Zoe.”

“To not hurt him.” She supplied. She knew this was coming.

“Yes.”

“And that’s why I’m leaving. It’ll be better this way. If he asks--.”

“He’s going to ask.”

“Just tell him that I’m sorry, okay?”

She has no idea if Wade ever got that message or not. She talks to Lavon all the time—at least twice a week but sometimes as often as four times a week—but never once does he bring up Wade and Zoe simply doesn’t have the guts to ask about him even though she’s dying to know.

She heard his voice once.

It was about a month after she left and she was going on and on about the fellowship and how amazing it was and how much she was learning, like she was trying to convince both Lavon and herself that moving to Boston was the right thing to do, when she suddenly heard him say ‘Lavon I need to borrow your car.’

She stopped talking immediately and Lavon went silent as well.

“Thanks man. Sorry to bother you, didn’t know you were on the phone, see ya.”

And just like that he was gone and that month that she had spent away from him felt like years.

She made up an excuse to get off the phone because there was no way she could recover from that.

At least he sounded okay. He wasn’t moping around or crying over her or anything. Not that she expected him to. He’s got too much pride for that and can bounce back from anything with the best of ‘em. She figures that he’s alright. He’s moving on (if there was anything to move on from) and to him that night they spent together was just that. A night. No different from any other night he’s spent with any other girl. She has no reason to feel guilty but for some reason that’s all she feels.

If they were speaking he would tell her that her guilt is unwarranted. He’d tell her that but he wouldn’t really mean it. Not a hundred percent anyways. She did disappear on the whole town, it wasn’t just him. She left Lavon and Rose and Brick who minds a little more than he lets on because like it or not, she did bring in a few more patients and now he has no one to cover for him when he wants to take off on weekend long fishing trips or drive five hours for a football game.

But Wade feels like he’s doing okay. He doesn’t feel betrayed or anything. It’s not like they talked about having a life together or anything. It’s not like he was going to marry her or anything. It was only a physical attraction and what she wanted or did after that wasn’t any of his business. They’d go on like nothing ever happened. It happened to be that she wanted to act like that in a different state.

It does help, however, that no one talks about her. In the weeks and months after she left, he only heard her name a handful of times and always in passing, never directed at him. He knows the whole town knows that something happened between the two of them. Especially since Bill told everyone that he dropped both of them off at their places before the wedding and then neither of them showed up. Suspicions hit an all time high but it’s not like most people didn’t think something was happening long before that. That’s just small town life. Something he’s grown accustomed to and expects and he’s genuinely surprised that no one offers a kind word or encourages him to get over her. Maybe Lavon had a meeting or something and told everyone to be cool about it.

What doesn’t help is that for the first few weeks of her being gone he had to watch George mope around like he lost something. Maybe he had. He lost a fifteen year relationship to a girl that skipped town without telling anyone. Not that Wade felt sorry for him or anything.

It takes him five months to save up enough money for his bar and with Lavon and the towns help he gets it opens three months after that. He’s never worked harder for anything in his life (except maybe spending a year trying to get Zoe Hart to notice him) and when he looks around at his bar he knows that it’s everything he wants and everything he thought it would be. He’s happy and fulfilled and everything is great. But sometimes as he’s closing up the bar for the night or while he’s lying in bed (alone, he’s always alone now) he really misses having to fix that fuse box.

She ends up talking to him by accident.

She’s in the locker room at the gym trying to get her jacket on while closing her locker and trying to find her phone while zipping up her gym bag at the same time. She’s overwhelmed by all the tasks and sweaty and annoyed from her workout, and angry at herself for having to go to the gym but there’s this little bagel shop near the hospital that’s been feeding her every morning and it’s superficial but it is what it is and all she wants to do is leave, go home, and shower but not until she finds her phone and checks her messages.

Her hand finally finds her phone on the bottom of the bag and she chastises herself for letting it slip all the way down there. She had to be more organized and put it in the side pocket to save her the hassle. Her fingers slide across the screen on the way up and when it fully emerges from the bag she realizes that she’s inadvertently dialed his number.

It’s not too late to end the call but she just can’t seem to make herself do it. Instead to slowly brings the phone to her ear and hears his voice.

“Look, Zoe, I don’t really know what’s going on here and it’s probably my fault because I answered even though I knew it was you but if you’re just chicken and not talking or this was an accident and I’m just talking to myself right now or if….I don’t know….you’re lying in a ditch somewhere because if you are just, god help ya, Doc, because I have no clue what to do in that situation….”

A short burst of laughter gives her away.

“It was an accident.”

“Oh.”

She rests her back against the wall. If he’s not hanging up then she’s not either.

“There’s something wrong with my phone. I haven’t had the time to get it fixed.”

“Too busy saving lives?”

A small smile works its way onto her lips. “Something like that.”

“Well. I should probably let you get back to that.”

“No, wait.” She sits up quickly and draws some looks from the other women in the locker room but she ignores them and turns her body away. She’s not ready to lose his voice yet. “I got some time.”

“Do you?”

They dance around the subject of her leaving without even leaving a note for him and them sleeping together and pretty much everything having to do with the two of them ever interacting but they hit on everything else. She talks about Boston and the fellowship until she’s sure that she’s boring him and he talks about everything that’s been going with Bluebell, all of which she already knows because she still talks to Lavon all the time but she doesn’t stop him because she’s missed the way certain words sound with his accent.

The conversation eventually hits a lull because they’re all talked out but neither of them wants to end the call.

“Wade.” She finally breathes out his name because that’s all she has left.

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry. For everything. I didn’t handle anything well.”

“You got nothing to be sorry about, Doc.”

She sighs heavily into the phone because they both know she does but he’s letting her off the hook.

“I gotta get going but this was…”

“It was nice.” She finishes. “I wouldn’t mind doing it again.”

“I’ll call you next time, how ‘bout that?”

“Sounds good.”

He calls her two days later and then she calls him two days after that and it’s like clockwork for them. They call at the same time, twice a week without fail. No matter what they’re doing they always find the time to call. It’s like the distance brings them closer together because they talk more now that they’re separated by hundreds of miles than they did when they only had a pond between them.

She’s practically bouncing on the sidewalk when she tells him that she got to help on a surgery, “I pretty much saved the guy. I mean, there were other doctors there but who’s to say the guy would’ve survived if I hadn’t been there.” He’s locking up the bar when he lets it slip that he’s actually managed to open it up.

“Why didn’t you tell me? How did I not know that happened? When?”

“Saved up all my pennies.”

“And it’s going well?”

“Yeah, really well. Surprisingly well actually. Been open for a few months.”

“A few months? Damn, Wade, why didn’t you tell me? How could you keep this from me?”

“I don’t know. I guess I thought it wasn’t important or something.”

“Not important?”

“It’s just a bar.”

“But it’s your bar. That’s important. I wish I could see it.”

“Maybe if you ever come back, you know, to visit Lavon.”

“Yeah. Maybe.”

One night she finally gets brave. Maybe she’s overtired and delirious and not understanding what she’s saying to the fullest extent but suddenly she’s speaking and she gets it out.

“Wade.” She’s lying in bed and he’s standing behind the bar. “That night when we…” She doesn’t want to say it.

“Yeah.” He doesn’t want to hear her say it.

“That wasn’t Lavon that knocked on the door. It was George. He kissed me and I didn’t exactly not kiss him back.” It feels like a weight has been lifted from her shoulders and she’s relived but only for a second because Wade hasn’t said anything and if he yells at her or just hangs up and doesn’t accept another call from her then it wasn’t worth it to get rid of the burden.

“I know.” He says simply. “He hand I.” He pauses and flexes his hand. It’s healed up just fine. “We had some words shortly after you left.”

The fight was undignified and not nearly as one sided as Wade thought it would be. George put up a fight which pissed Wade off even more because where the hell did that come from? It wasn’t like George Tucker had to fight for anything in his whole life. By the time Lavon and a few other guys that were hanging around outside of the Rammer Jammer broke it up they were left with bloody knuckled and a black eye for George that Wade was extremely proud of. Lavon hauled them over to the practice despite their protests and separated them with four chairs between them as he explained to Addie that what happened was just a little scuffle, nothing to worry about, nothing serious. She nodded with a drawn out ‘oh’ as she looked between the two men because she knew exactly what it was about and given the speed at which information traveled in that town everyone else would in about ten minutes.

Addie went to find Brick and Lavon stuck around because he didn’t feel like they could be trusted without adult supervision. Wade surveyed the damage of his hand while he waited; content with the silence that was enveloping the whole practice until George had to ruin that too.

“I didn’t know you were in there when I came over.”

“Whatever.” Wade shrugged it off and George sighed heavily.

“What the hell happened here?” Brick broke through the front doors with Addie hot on his heels and both she and Lavon stumbled over each other trying to cover for them as Brick stood in front of them with his hands on his hips slowly realizing what this was all really about.

“Alright.” He said and then surprised everyone by calling Wade into the exam room first.

Wade expected some kind of lecture about acting like a kid and that is was reasons like that why he thought Wade was such a bad influence but instead he worked in silence as he checked his hand to make sure nothing was broken and then cleaned it up. When he was finished he patted him on the back, a fatherly act of comfort, and Wade figured that maybe Brick knew what he was feeling.

He had a woman walk out on him too.

“I shouldn’t have done that. That was really stupid and immature and I should’ve told him to leave as soon as I saw him because I knew what he was going to say. There was only one reason for him to be there and that was it and I just ruined everything and I’m so sorry. I know you guys are friends--.”

“Not really. Not anymore.”

“Oh, Wade, I’m sorry I ruined that too.”

He nods but his concentration on her apology is broken when the bar doors burst open and the whole place is flooded with patrons that are going to need his attention.

“I have to go.” He says abruptly and winces when he hears her let out a disappointed ‘oh’. “No, it’s just that we got really busy suddenly and I’m kind of understaffed at the moment and they’re going to get angry before they get drunk and I don’t know if I can handle that.”

“Oh, okay, that’s fine. I’ll talk to you later then?”

“You always do. G’night, Doc.”

She didn’t realize how much she looked forward to getting a call from him until she doesn’t get one. She writes the silence off at first; their last conversation was heavy and he probably needs some time to adjust and cool off but when he repeatedly doesn’t pick up his phone when she calls him she begins to worry. What if something happened? It’s irrational and she knows that she’s jumping to conclusions but she’d rather be safe than sorry.

“Lavon, have you heard from Wade? He didn’t call me like he usually does and he might be mad at me because I did some really stupid things a while ago and just told him about it but he knew all along so that whole conversation was just a mess but I don’t think it’s really any reason for him not to talk to me but when I called him he didn’t pick up either so now I’m starting to get worried.”

“Zo—he didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what? Nobody is telling me anything. Including you, why didn’t you tell me he opened a bar? That’s a big deal and he acted like it wasn’t and I felt stupid.”

“Zoe.” Lavon shouts to get her attention. “Wade’s father died.”

“Oh my god.”

“Two days ago. He’s been a little busy; he had to pick Jesse up from the airport today and relatives are pouring in. He’s got a lot on his mind.”

“Why didn’t he tell me?”

“Like I said, he’s got a lot on his mind. Can’t blame him.”

“I don’t. If you see him can you just tell him to call me? If he has time?”

“Sure thing.”

She really doesn’t blame him. It just bothers her that for a moment she’s not on his mind. It’s a selfish thought but he’s already made it be known that he expects that kind of thing from her.

She calls him the next day and she’s so relieved when he picks up.

He’s walking into the church, Jesse beside him, to talk to Reverend Mayfair about the funeral arrangements when his phone rings. He stops walking when he sees that it’s her.

“Give me a second.”

“Are you kidding me? We’re already ten minutes late. Ten minutes late for a meeting with the Reverend. Do you know awful that is?”

“It’ll only take a second.” Wade hastily answers the phone because it could only ring a few more times before it switched over to voicemail and he’s already missed a bunch of her calls already. “Hey.”

“Wade.” Her voice is a mix of concern and relief.

“Can you give me a second?”

“Oh. Sure.”

He lowers the phone to his side and looks back to Jesse.

“That’s like asking God to wait a second.”

“I think he’ll be able to deal. Why don’t you go in if you’re so worried? I’ll be right there.”

“Who’s on the phone anyways? Who’s so important?”

“It’s Zoe, if you must know, alright?”

“Zoe? You’re still talking to her?”

“Yeah, you got a problem with that?”

“No, it’s just….she ditched you, Wade, let it go.”

“Fuck you, Jesse.”

“Whoa. That kind of language outside of a church and being late, you’re not doing yourself any favors here.” He takes a step backwards towards the door of the church. “I’m giving you thirty seconds then I’m coming out here to drag you inside because I’m not doing this alone.”

“God forbid.” Wade shot back and turned around just as Jesse gave him a dirty look.

He brings the phone back up to his ear and waits for the front door of the church to close before he begins to speak.

“Zoe, I’m sorry for not calling you back.”

“Don’t apologize. God, Wade. You don’t have anything to be sorry about. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He runs his hand over his face and along the back of his neck. He’s exhausted and currently annoyed at his brother and has a million and one things to do before the funeral but she doesn’t need to know that and worry about it. “It’s just…”

“I’m so sorry.”

He breathes out a laugh because he’s heard that over and over again. It doesn’t even mean anything to him anymore but he appreciates the sentiment.

“Thanks.”

“I don’t even know what to say to you.”

“You don’t have to say anything; everyone here as already said everything there is to be said. Over and over and over again.”

“Well I’m still sorry. I feel bad. I feel like I could’ve done something.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. When you brought him in that time, I should’ve run some tests or something. Looked at the file that Harley had for him, I could’ve helped.”

“He didn’t want help, Doc. He knew he was sick this whole time—for years—and he could’ve done a lot of things to help himself and he just didn’t. What’s done is done.”

He must sound awful or sad or something because she sighs heavily.

“Oh, Wade.”

“I know, I know, but I’m having a real hard time feeling sorry for him.”

“Wade, it’s been way longer than thirty seconds. Get in here.” Jesse’s head pokes through the door and Wade promptly gives him the finger.

“I have to go. Jesse’s freaking out at me and it’s easier to just go with him than fight him right now, so…”

“When is the funeral?”

“Saturday.”

Two days away.

“I’ll be there.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Yes I do. “I want to. I’ll be there.”

“You can get away? They won’t need you at the hospital or anything?”

“They can do without me. Some things are more important.” He’s more important. “I’ve already made up my mind.” She teases lightly. “I’ll be there.”

He can’t stop the smile that ghosts his lips. It’s not under the best of circumstances and it probably won’t be for more than a weekend but she’s coming back. For him.

“Alright then. I’ll see you.”

They hang up after goodbyes and another promise from her that she’ll be there and when he turns around to face Jesse he’s frowning.

“She’s coming back?”

Wade shoves the phone into his pocket and starts toward him.

“Just for the funeral.”

“That’s not going to end well.”

Wade pushes him through the doors.

He feels like an idiot for getting excited but he can’t help it and her does an awful job at hiding it because he spends the better part of Friday cleaning up his place and his bar just so he can impress her.

He feels even worse about himself when she doesn’t show. He knew he shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up like that. He should’ve learned from past experiences with her, that nothing ever plays out the way he thinks it will or the way he wants it to. The only bright side is that he looks so defeated and disappointed and pathetic that Jesse doesn’t mess with him or tell him ‘I told you so.’

“Wade.” She presses the phone tight to her ear so she can hear him over the rush and buzz of the hospital lobby. “I am so, so, so, so sorry. I’m so sorry.” She steps out onto the street and holds the cashmere scarf she’s wearing closer around her neck to protect her from the wind. When she doesn’t hear him say anything she first looks at the phone to make sure the call is still connected and then she continues to speak hoping that enough groveling will bring something out in him. “I had the ticket and everything. I was all packed and ready to go…I was practically half way out the door to go to the airport but then I got a call from the hospital and there was this huge car accident and they needed everyone that was available. It was literally life and death.” She pauses to give him a chance but there’s still nothing on the other end and she sighs. “Look, Wade, I know that there’s no excuse, I mean, I said that I was going to be there and this was really important but--.”

“Zoe.”

She leans against the side of the hospital, wind still hitting her but her eyes close in relief because at least he’s speaking now.

“I’m sorry, Wade.”

“You don’t have to be apologizing.”

“Yes, I do.”

“No. You don’t.” He says with finality in his voice. “Your life isn’t down here anymore. You’re not obligated to do anything.”

“But--.”

“No.” He interrupts and she presses her lips together tightly to stop herself from arguing with him because if she’s going to apologize then, dammit, he’s going to accept it. “Just…just forget about it, okay? There’s nothing you can do now.”

“But I want you to know that I don’t feel right about not being there.”

“You’re wasting your feelings. It’s nothing to worry about or anything.”

She doesn’t like this but there’s nothing that she can do.

“I really gotta go.” He tells her. “I’m kind of in the middle of something.”

“Oh…okay. If you even need to talk or anything….” She trails off. “I’ll call you.”

He’s silent for a moment. “Bye, Zoe.”

She starts to say his name to stop him from hanging up because this is not the way she wants the conversation to end but it’s too late. Her phone beeps and the call is disconnected and she’s forced back into the hospital.

Wade rests his phone on the worn surface of his father’s old desk. He and Jesse have been trying to clean out Earl’s place all morning. The old man had a lot of stuff; mostly junk but there are a few hidden treasures here and there. First baseball gloves, old report cards, family photos…things that just couldn’t be thrown out or donated.

Jesse has been in the bedroom for the past hour going through photo albums and Wade’s been trying to make sense of the living room for the last forty minutes. He just moved onto the desk when he got the call from Zoe.

He tries to get that out of his mind as he starts to go through the drawers. It’s mostly paperwork—receipts and old shopping lists along with some legal documents, the deed to the land and insurance papers on the car that Jesse got for him (he throws out the receipts and lists and organizes the documents) but in the top drawer he finds a ring box and hastily flips it open.

He hasn’t seen his mother’s engagement ring in years (and years and years) but he knows that this is it. It’s subtle but beautiful and he knows that his mother loved it. He shakes his head and runs a hand over his face as he leans back in the desk stool so he can see into the bedroom through the open door.

“Hey.” He calls out to Jesse and after a few moments he appears in the door way. Wade holds out the box open box and when Jesse gets close enough to see it he stops and dramatically puts his hand over his heart.

“Oh my god, Wade. Yes, yes, a million times yes.” He jokes and Wade rolls his eyes and snaps the box shut.

“Shut up. You want this?”

“You keep it.” Jesse shrugs.

“Why would I keep it? You’re closer to getting engaged than I am.”

“Uh, not really.” Jesse turns on his heels to head back into the bedroom. “Just keep it.”

He disappears around the corner and Wade heaves a sigh before he pockets the box.

He doesn’t call her again. He doesn’t pick up when she calls him and she’s bracing herself for another round of freezing out from him when someone knocks at her door. It’s late and she’s getting ready for bed and she’s not in the mood to deal with whoever is on the other side until she opens the door.

“What are you doing here?” It’s one of the rudest things she can say to him (or to anyone, really) but when she opened her apartment door and saw Wade standing there that was all she could think of to say.

“Uh…” His eyes dart off to the side as he stumbles over what he wants to say.

“I’m sorry.” She apologizes quickly and swings the door open even wider then reaches out to grab a hold of the sleeve of his red, plaid jacket. “Come in.” She tugs on the fabric and he takes an unsteady step inside.

“Thanks.” He adjusts the black, duffle bag on his shoulder as his boots scuff against the hardwood floor and Zoe looks at him for the first time in almost a year and a half. The shoulders of his jacket and his hair are damp from the snow that has melted on them his face is flushed from the cold and there might be a few more days’ worth of scruff covering his jaw line but other than that he’s the same.

“What…” She stops herself from asking that question again because he clearly doesn’t have an answer and even if he did it doesn’t really matters. He’s here; in her apartment and he looks good and she had no idea how much she really missed him until right now. That’s all that matters.

“I don’t know why I’m here.” He looks around the apartment for a long time before he looks back at her and the two stand in silence until he’s ready to speak. “I got your address from Lavon and I guess I just…I don’t know. I had to get away for a little while. Y’know? They all looked at me like they felt sorry for me which they shouldn’t. I mean, I expected this kind of. He brought this on himself. He knew about this the whole time and he didn’t do a thing to stop it so…” His voice cracks just a little and she steps towards him with her hand out (because all that time in Bluebell did teach her some bedside manner) to comfort him but he steps back. He’s here and he came to her but that’s it. His heartache isn’t an invitation for her to get close to him.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call first.” He continues strongly.

“It’s okay, Wade.”

“No it’s not. I just barged in here on you. I wasn’t thinking.”

“Wade, it’s really okay.” She says slowly to make it count. “It’s not like I live some crazy, glamorous life up here or anything.” She sits down on the edge of the couch and he hesitantly sits on the other end. “You didn’t catch me on my way out.” She motions to her sweatpants and Boston General sweatshirt. “This was my night.” She smiles to make him feel more comfortable but there’s still tension in his body. “How long are you staying?”

“I don’t know.” He shakes his head. “I don’t really have a plan. I left the bar but Tom can probably handle it--.”

“Tom? Like, Tom Long?”

He nods.

“You hired Tom Long?”

Wade smiles for the first time. “I know what you’re thinking but he’s actually pretty responsible. Still a little flighty but he’s good. It helps that I told him women love a man that’s in charge and all he wants to do is impress Wanda all the time so that helps. Don’t know where I’m staying though.”

“You’re staying here.” She says automatically. Isn’t that why he came here?

“I can’t do that.”

“Yes, you can.”

“No, Zoe--.”

“Wade.” She reaches across the couch to touch him, finally, and he stares at her hand on his knee. “Stay here.” It sounds a little desperate (because she is a little desperate) but at least she didn’t tack on a ‘please’ to the end of it. “I only have the couch for you but that’s still better than a hotel, right?”

Every second that he doesn’t answer is torture and she swears that he’s doing it on purpose and while it’s not undeserved, it’s still annoying and her feet tap against the floor impatiently.

“Alright.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He says quietly. “Yeah.”

“Good.” She stands up and his eyes follow her. “Do you want anything, coffee or something to eat? I don’t have much but I can see what I have.” She clasps her hands in front of her hopefully.

“Actually if it’s alright I think I’m just going to try and get some sleep. The flight kind of wore me down and I’ve had a headache for like, a week.” He rubs his hand over his forehead and she frowns in sympathy.

“Of course. Anything you want.” She points past him. “The bathroom is right in there. There are towels in the closet.”

He nods and stands up so he can take off his jacket leaving him in a thin, cotton t-shirt and he gasps when the air hits his skin.

“Why is it so cold in here?”

She almost laughs. She barely feels it anymore. “The heat has been out since October. It wasn’t that bad then but now….” She wraps her arms around her middle.

“How do you live like this?”

“I’m at the hospital most of the time and I have a space heater for the bedroom so I don’t really notice it. I asked the landlord about it but he’s kind of a jerk and gave me the run around. I haven’t had the time to pressure him about it.”

“Far cry from Lavon, huh?”

There’s a look in his eyes that lets her know that it’s a dig.

“That’s an understatement.” She says quietly and tips her head towards the couch. “I’ll get you some pillows and extra blankets.”

“Thanks.” He says quietly as he grabs his bag and heads to the bathroom.

She finally gives up and gets out of bed around one o’clock. She’s perched on the edge with her feet on the cold floor. It’s like walking on ice but the cool burn of it barely registers against the way the rest of her feels.

She’s so antsy and anxious and she’s spent the last four hours tossing and turning and thinking about her job versus the one she had in Bluebell, city versus country, bustling streets versus lad back dirt roads. She’s going over every decision she’s made in the last nineteen months and if she made the right ones. But mostly she’s thinking about the boy that’s asleep on her couch.

She pulls all her weight onto her feet and sets a careful path for the kitchen to get a glass of water—like that’s going to fix anything.

The outline of his body is just barely visible to her from where she’s standing at the sink. He’s curled up (he has to be, his legs are too long to stretch out) and he’s holding the blankets under his chin. He’s asleep but he doesn’t look comfortable and there’s no way he’s going to last very long at her place living like this. Her apartment is many steps below a hotel room.

She sets the glass down on the counter and makes her way to him, narrowly avoiding the corner of the coffee table as she goes.

“Wade.” Her voice it too quiet and he doesn’t stir so she sits down on the table and touches his shoulder. “Wade.” It’s a little stronger this time and he opens his eyes and lifts his head.

“What’s wrong?”

“Are you cold?”

“What?”

She sighs and pulls the blanket down his shoulder so she can grab a hold of the crook of his elbow.

“Come on.” She gets up but he resists. “It’s freezing out here, Wade.”

One more pleading look is all it takes for him to push the rest of the blankets off and stands up.

She doesn’t let go of his arm (he doesn’t make her) until they’re at the foot of the bed and she goes to the left while he goes to the right.

“It’s warmer in here.” She rolls her eyes at the obvious statement. “I felt bad that you were out there freezing and I was in here all warm and I couldn’t sleep.”

“Well I think my natural southern gentleman charm dictates that that’s the way it should be.”

She laughs and thankfully he does as well. His natural southern gentleman charm (as far as she knows and as far as he lets her know) is weak.

“Well my northern, Yankee attitude means that we can compromise. You’re the guest.” She yanks down the covers. “Now get in and go to sleep. I’m tired.”

He gets into the bed after she settles in. He doesn’t want to intrude on her personal space even though this is what she wanted. It still feels weird. The first and only time they ever shared a bed there were a lot less clothes involved and no space between them. Now they’re bundled up on separate sides and acting like this is all they’ve ever been.

Her alarm jolts them both awake at five thirty. She’s used to the sound but he groans and rolls over.

“What the hell, Zoe?”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” She shuts it off and turns to him. “I forgot to tell you that it was on.”

He looks over his shoulder at her because they’ve had this exact same conversation before except when her alarm when off that morning after the storm he pulled her closer and when she apologized he kissed her shoulder and mumbled ‘as long as we’re both awake we might as well make the most of it’ against her skin.

“I have to get ready for work but you can go back to sleep. I’ll be back later today. I’ll call you. Maybe we can get dinner or something?”

“Okay.” He rests his head back down on the pillow and she frowns.

“You’ll be okay by yourself?” She asks him as she grabs an outfit out of her closet and then some scrubs from her dresser. “If you want to walk about the city or something, you’ll be okay?”

He chuckles. “I’m not a child, Zoe. I got here didn’t I? But if it makes you feel better you can write down your address and your number on a piece of paper and pin it to my jacket so if I get lost the police can bring me back here.”

“Excuse me for caring.”

“I appreciate it, Doc. I just don’t need it. Not about this, anyways.”

She stares at him, trying to get a read on his mood based on the way that he looks but his eyes are closed and it’s too dark to see anything anyways. And it’s too early for all of this.

She leaves him in the bedroom while she showers and changes for work, his last words to her rubbing her the wrong way and before she leaves she throws open the door, stomps over to him and roughly shoves his shoulder to wake him up.

“Now what?” He grumbles and she rolls her eyes as she tosses a spare key onto the nightstand.

“You’ll need that. Have a good day.”

She doesn’t call him once during the day. There was plenty of time—a whole half an hour for lunch which she ate completely alone, silently stewing over how annoyed she was at him. Incidents like that are why she left. All she was trying to do was be nice to him and care about him and he just had to fight back and force her to be mean to him. He asks for it.

When she gets back to her place at the end of the day the door is locked and the apartment is empty. He’s still out, wandering around the city and a small part of her hopes he’s lost just so she can say ‘I told you so’ when he finally finds his way back.

As she’s trying to figure out exactly what she will say to him when he gets back she notices that his bag isn’t in the living room by the couch where he left it last night and worry sets in.

What if he’s already had enough of her and their little fight this morning was it for him. He realized that he wasted his time coming all the way up here and left her like she left him.

She’s just about to call Lavon, because he has the ability to bring clarity to her mess, when the door swings open and Wade walks in carrying a brown, paper bag in his arms like nothing’s wrong.

“I thought you left.”

“Left where? For back home?” He strolls into the kitchen and sets the bag down on the counter. “You think I’d leave after one day? That’s just a waste of a plane ticket.”

“Where’d your bag go?”

“I put it in the bedroom. I hope that’s okay.” He says seriously.

“That’s fine.” Her anger at him slowly melts away.

“Good.” He nods once then continues on. “I know you said we could have dinner but I looked and you have nothing in this kitchen. I don’t know how you’re surviving so while I was out today I picked up some things….” He pulls out bread, cheese and a container of tomato soup. “Grilled cheese and soup?”

She forgets what it feels like to be mad at him.

“Sounds great.”

“I need a pot and a pan.”

She points to the cabinet to the left of the sink and he claps his hands together.

“Okay, now I need you to get out of here.”

She opens her mouth to protest but his hands are already firmly on her arms backing her out of the kitchen.

“Seriously. You’re going to get in my way.”

“You’re kicking me out of my own kitchen?”

“How many times have you actually cooked in there since you moved in?”

“That’s not relevant.”

He laughs. “That’s what I thought.”

The backs of her knees hit the couch and she grabs onto his forearms for balance before lowering herself onto it.

“Stay there.”

He’s halfway back to the kitchen before he looks over his shoulder at her because she’s never been one to do what she’s told, especially when he’s the one telling her, but she decides that she’ll let him have this one.

They adjust to living together quickly. It’s not too much of a leap from sharing a kitchen and fuse box to sharing a living room and a bathroom and a bed. She finds that it’s nice to have someone there; waiting for her and asking her how her day was and that listens and actually cares.

When she comes home from work the next day he’s sprawled across her couch, t-shirt, jeans and barefoot and she rolls her eyes to herself as she drops her bag onto the kitchen table. He made himself right at home and she can’t help but like it.

He looks away from the TV when she walks in and a smile spreads across like he’s got a secret as she gets closer to him. She eyes him suspiciously.

“How’d your day go?” He asks innocently but that smile is still on his face as he watches her unweave the scarf from her neck.

“It went fine. What were you up to?”

“Oh, nothing much.” He sits up with his hands on his knees as she unbuttons her jacket. “Same old thing. Walked around for a little while, tried not to get lost, found my way back, ate lunch….” He pauses as she slides the jacket down her arms and pulls her sweater tighter around her on instinct to protect herself from the cold but she stops and pushes up the sleeves instead.

“Why is it warm in here?”

“And I got your heat fixed.” He says nonchalantly and she stares wide eyed at him.

“How the hell did you do that?”

“I bumped into your landlord.”

“You bumped into him?”

“I tracked him down. His office is in the basement. It’s weird but you won’t be having a problem with your heat anymore.”

“What did you do to him?”

“Nothing. We just talked. I can be very persuasive.”

She bites her lip and looks down at his hands. He holds them up for her.

“I didn’t hit him. I swear. We just talked.”

“I can’t believe that you did that for me.” She says, full of wonder like she actually can’t believe it which is kind of crazy because he has been doing good deeds for her since he met her even if he likes to act like he doesn’t.

“Well…ya’know.” He shrugs it off like it’s not a big deal because it really wasn’t. It only took him five minutes of talking to the landlord, who was not a very tall or intimidating guy so it was extra easy for Wade to stand up to him. And of course he did it because he wanted her to be comfortable and be treated like she’s supposed to be treated (she’s not supposed to freeze in her own apartment) and the smile she’s got on her face as she looks at him now is totally worth it but if he’s being honest he had some selfish reasons to get the heat working. He’s staying at her place too and even though he’s supposed to be the big, tough, man, he’s not used to the cold. He’d choose a one hundred and five degree heat wave over a Boston winter any day.

The heat is nice. It’s nice to not have to be bundled up in five layers of clothing just to watch TV or eat dinner and they have about an hour to enjoy the warmth before it starts to get oppressive and she’s laughing as she runs to the thermostat to turn the heat down and he’s got his hand pressed to the vent.

“Is it getting any cooler?” She calls to him from across the room and he gives it a second before he shakes his head.

“Hotter than ever, Doc.”

They huddle together (even though they’re practically melting they’re still pressed together) in front of the sink as Wade tries to pry the window open. She’s giggling at his failed attempts and he’s getting huffy.

“It’s frozen shut, that’s the problem.” He defends. “It’s a safety hazard.”

“Maybe you should go threaten the landlord again.”

“I didn’t threaten him, okay?”

“He’ll probably come up here and knock a hole in the wall in case we have to get out.”

He laughs too, his face finally breaking out into a smile as the window roughly slides open. The gust of wind that hits them is a relief but she angles her body towards him to protect herself. She had to change into cotton shorts and a tank top to cool down which he objected to.

“Not fair.” He said when she emerged from the bedroom. “I didn’t pack for a heat wave.” He pulled the bottom of his shirt away from where it was sticking to his skin. He couldn’t get any more comfortable with is wardrobe. This wasn’t his house; he couldn’t just walk around shirtless any time he pleased.

She eyed him. “Just take your.” She stopped abruptly and her face turned bright red (not from the heat) when he raised his eyebrows at her. She shook her head then tipped it towards the kitchen. “Try to get the window open.”

Wade lets go of the window and it falls on its own so it’s only opened an inch or two. It’s enough to cool them off but it’s not overwhelming.

“Do you think he knew that the heat was broken like this and that’s why he never turned it on?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Maybe…” He rests her hands on the counter behind her just like he is, their hands almost touching. “Maybe he was trying to protect me and you had to go down there and be all southern and intimidating and made him change it.” She teases, still all smiles.

“I was just trying’ to help you out, I didn’t know we’d be slowly roasted as a result of it.”

“That’s okay. It’s not that bad here.”

He glances over his shoulder at the open window and when he turns back around he stops at her face.

“You might have to talk to him to fix this. Be all sweet and innocent. Good cop to my bad cop.” He smiles at her but she doesn’t see it.

She’s looking down at their hands, separated by a fraction of an inch until she closes the distance and her fingertips rest against his. Then she completely surprises him and possibly herself when she brings her other hand to his shoulder, curls her fingers around the curve of it, stands up on her toes and kisses him.

It’s simple and quick but it’s not just a friendly kiss. There’s more to it than that, he can tell from the way that her fingers curl both into his shirt and against his hand that she wouldn’t object to him moving to hold her or kiss her back but he’s to frozen in shock and fear that he’ll do that wrong thing and scare her away. So he stays still, kisses her back just enough to show her that he’s not rejecting her (because it would be impossible for him to do that, even with all that’s happened and after all the times that’s passed) until she lowers herself back down onto the soles of her feet.

“I’m tired.” She tells him and he just stares at her. “I’m going to head to bed.”

He nods as she steps away. He’s not sure if he’s supposed to follow. She invited him into bed with her because the apartment was cold and he fixed that so now what is he supposed to do?

She answers that question for him when she pauses at her door. “You coming or are you staying up?”

He exhales sharply, letting out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding in and pushes himself off the counter to follow her.

The bedroom is too warm for her to fall asleep especially with the extra heat that’s coming off his body while he’s trying to sleep next to her. She deals with it though. Technically he deals with it when he gets up and props one of the bedroom windows open to let some air in but even if he didn’t do that she’d never ask him to leave and not just because she doesn’t want to be rude. She likes having him there and as the days pass with him she adds that to the list.

She likes the sound of his footsteps against the hardwood as he walks from the couch to the kitchen from the kitchen to the bedroom and the weight of him lying next to her on the bed. They slowly edge away from sleeping on separate sides and drift closer and she likes that too. It’s been so long since she’s had something solid and warm to lie next to. And she needs something warm to lie next to because as soon as she gets the heat fixed by playing good cop like Wade said listening to the landlord tell her that that’s what happens when she lets her boyfriend to the dirty work for her, Wade’s arm resting haphazardly and accidentally across her waist is better than any blanket. She likes how her queen sized bed feels like a twin when he’s in it and she likes to kiss him.

She kisses him randomly, seemingly on a whim. Sometimes it’ll happen before she leaves for work or when she comes home or while he’s in the middle of telling her a story about something that had happened in Bluebell but it’s never all the time, never a constant so he never knows when it’s going to happen. It makes him nervous and anxious and frustrated because there’s no talking about it afterwards. She walks away from him leaving him totally confused with his hands at his sides, fingers itching to follow her and touch her because that’s something he won’t do while it’s happening. He doesn’t want to start something when he doesn’t know where it’ll stop. He’s so afraid that he’s going to push her too far over some imaginary line that she’s drawn and is apparently keeping a secret and she’s going to bolt again. Granted, it would be a lot harder for her to do so since they’re at her place but she could still kick him out and never speak to him again. He wouldn’t put that past her even with how well they’ve been getting a long lately.

“Are you staying for Christmas?”

She’s whispering because he’s right there and the room is dark and they’re in bed and it seems like anything that either of them say should be in a hushed tone.

He shifts next to her and their shoulders bump because that’s the point that they’re at. They always lie close enough to touch. Not in an obvious way or one that crosses any (remaining) lines. Just close enough to always know that they other are still there.

“I guess so. Not like there’s any reason to go back before then.”

“First Christmas that won’t be spent in Bluebell.”

“You better make it a good one.”

“Well.” She sighs and moves onto her side so she’s facing him. That’s how she woke up this morning; facing him but so much closer. She was too close with her hands pressed together in front of her and her whole body pressed to the side of his with her nose and lips up against his collar bone. She slipped out of bed without waking him because she’s not ready to wake up with him like that yet. “That’s what I want to talk to you about. There’s this holiday party for the staff of the hospital…”

“Uh oh.”

She laughs. “I know but I have to go and I don’t want to leave you all alone.”

“Am I going to have to dress up?”

“Yes.”

“Am I going to get judged for not being a doctor?”

“No. They’re not like that. Plus it’s not like you’ll be the only non-doctor there. You’re not that special.”

“If you’re trying to get me to go somewhere with you, you might consider not insulting me.”

“Sorry. I’m just saying you have nothing to worry about. It might be fun. Free alcohol.”

“You’ve got my interest.”

“It’ll be fun. I had fun last year.” She pokes a daring finger into his chest. “What else are you going to do?”

“There’s a strip club around the corner.”

She hits his chest; her whole hand connecting with the cotton of his t-shirt. “Shut up. There is not and you would never.”

He flips onto his side as well with his hand propping up his head so he can look down at her and even in the dark she can see his eyes going from hers to her lips and back again and she thinks about kissing him.

But then he moves back and drops his head to the pillow with a lazy smile on his face.

“Where can I get a suit here?”

Three days later she’s just finishing getting dressed (she’s struggling to clasp a bracelet around her wrist) when he knocks on the door.

“You about ready?” He asks dully and she snorts out a laugh.

“Don’t sound so excited.” She turns around and takes a deep breath because there’s nothing funny about the way he looks. She’s never forgotten the way he looks in a suit but memories are so different from the real thing. “I’m almost ready.” She stutters. “I can’t get this….stupid thing.” She holds out her hand and he crosses distance and takes her hand in his.

“I got it.” He says gruffly as he concentrates on the small, metal clasp. She concentrates on the knot of his tie because the last time she saw him wearing one she was frantically trying to get it off of him. “There ya go.” He lets her go and she clears her throat.

“You look nice.” She tucks a piece of hair behind her ear and moves around him to step into her heels.

“You too.” He looks her over and she tugs on the hem of her black dress. “You tryin’ to impress someone tonight?”

The question makes her uncomfortable.

“Not really.” She shrugs and grabs her clutch off the bed before she walks past him and out of the room.

He stays close to her side while they’re at the party and that’s fine, that’s where she wants him. She introduces him as her friend who’s up from Alabama, visiting her for the holidays and she ignores the look he gives her at the word friend before he shakes hands and is perfectly polite as he excuses himself from the medical conversation that’s happening between her and one of her colleagues to go get himself something to drink. She can tell that he’s not having the best time when he comes back to her with a tired and forced smile on his face and another glass of champagne for her.

“You’re not having fun.” She says as she accepts the glass.

He brings his own tumbler of scotch to his lips and shrugs. “It’s fine.”

“You’re a liar.”

“You caught me.” He gives her an easy smile and it’s the closest he’s looked to being happy since they got here.

She’s about to tell him that they can get going soon when Dr. Walker comes over with two glasses of champagne in his hands and a smile that’s only directed on Zoe.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” He tells her as he glances down at the full glass in her hand. “I brought you some champagne but you already have some.”

“I got her covered.” Wade speaks and Dr. Walker acknowledges him for the first time.

“Ah. And you are?”

“Wade Kinsella.”

“Michael Walker. I’d shake your hand but…” He nods to the glasses of champagne and Wade nods back.

“That’s fine.”

It’s a cold and clipped tone from Wade and he shifts his weight so he’s standing closer to Zoe and Michael raises an eyebrow to Zoe waiting for some kind of explanation as to who he is because it’s clear that Wade is done talking.

“Wade is a friend of mine from Alabama.” She explains to Michael, avoiding Wade’s eyes again. “And Dr. Walker is a surgeon. We work together.”

“Huh.”

“Blast from the past, right, Zoe? And what do you do, Wade?”

Wade gives Zoe a wary look. “I’m a bartender.”

“Well you’re more than that.” Zoe touches his arm and Wade drops his arm down to her hip. “He actually owns his own bar.”

“There’s something to be said about a man that can start his own business in this economy.”

“It wasn’t easy.”

“It’s respectable though.”

“It’s not like I’m saving lives or anything.”

“If everyone saved lives, Wade, being a doctor wouldn’t be that big of a deal.”

“Then I guess you’re welcome.”

There’s a tense pause between them before Michael smiles at Zoe. “I better go find someone to take this champagne. I’ll talk to you later Zoe. And if not, I guess I’ll just see you at work.” He nods to Wade who rolls his eyes in returns and waits until Michaels a good ten feet away before he lets go of her hip and stands in front of her.

“That guy wants to have sex with you.”

“Wade.” She scolds. “He does not.”

“Come on, Doc. You really don’t think I know what it looks like when I guy wants to sleep with you?” He takes a step back. “You want another drink?”

She still has a full glass; he’s just desperate to get away. “No.”

“Fine.” He turns around anyways and she begins to follow him but stops herself after a few steps. He needs to cool off because he’s acting irrationally. He has no reason to be jealous of Michael; nothing is ever going to happen there. He doesn’t have a reason (or the right) to be jealous of anyone, it’s not like they’re dating. They’re free to do whatever they want with whoever they want.

She doesn’t understand his jealousy until she feels it for herself. Once he’s away from her the women just kind of flock to him and the way they look at him—it’s embarrassing really. It’s like they’ve never heard a southern accent before and it makes her regret telling them that she and he are just friends because, come on, they’re sharing a bed every night. They’re a little more than just friends.

When she sees Amy Sanders, an anesthesiologist that she’s friendly with (or at least she used to be friendly with) put her hand on his arm she decides that he’s had enough time to cool off and she pushes her way through the small crowd that’s formed around him.

“Are you ready to get out of here?”

He smiles at her and its infuriating because he knows exactly why she came over just then but there’s nothing she can do about it because she’s not about to leave him there. Not that he would ever stay there without her. She doesn’t know it but he’s so tightly wound around her little finger that he can hardly move.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

He disentangles himself and follows her out and they don’t until they’re out of the building and onto the street.

“Are you hungry?” She asks him, the cold nipping at her so she pulls her jacket around her tighter. Her head is a little fuzzy from all the champagne but she can still repress all their issues.

He’s feeling pretty solid despite the scotch that he drank but he’ll play along.

“Those appetizers were really small.”

“Pretentious.”

“Like Dr. Walker.”

Her arms are crossed over her chest when she bumps into him and he steadies her by wrapping his arm around her shoulder. She doesn’t object when he leaves it there longer than necessary.

They stop at a diner a few blocks from the party. It’s small and almost empty at this time of night and the waitress comes right over with a pot of coffee for them. If she disregards the heavy buzz of the heater and replaces the waitresses thick New England accent with a southern one it’s almost like she’s back in Alabama. Wade stretched out across from her in the booth certainly helps to set the scene.

“Zoe.”

She looks at him over the top of her coffee cup.

“I gotta go.”

“Where? Home?”

“Yeah.”

She nods and sets the cup down gently so the liquid doesn’t spill over the sides. “Well okay. Let’s go then.” She starts to slide out of the booth but he reaches across the table to grab her hands and stop her.

“No, Zoe. Not your home. I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about Alabama. I have to get back there.”

She leans back and her hand slides away from his. “Oh.”

“It’s been awhile. I trust Tom and all but I can’t stay here forever.” He says as gently as he can manage.

“I know that, obviously. You said three weeks and it’s been three weeks.” She nods. “So let’s get back to my place and we can get you a plane ticket and you can be out of here tomorrow.”

“Zoe, don’t be mad.”

“I’m not mad.” She slides out of the booth and stars for the door.

“Zoe. Dammit.” He calls to the waitress to tell her he’ll be back to pay for the coffee then takes off after Zoe.

She’s already half way down the sidewalk but he catches up to her easily as he grabs her upper arms and steps in front of her.

“Don’t just walk off like that.”

“I didn’t feel like staying.” She gets loose and keeps walking but he’s still a step ahead of her.

“You knew this was going to happen. Hey. At least I told you I was leaving. I didn’t just sneak out.”

She stops walking suddenly and he trips because he’s walking backwards but recovers quickly.

“Screw you, Wade. You’re really going to bring that up? God.”

“Yeah, I’m going to bring it up.” He trails after her. “Just because you don’t want to talk about it doesn’t mean I don’t want to.”

“I knew you weren’t over that.”

“Obviously I’m not over that. You took off right after we slept together. You didn’t just go home or not call me back—that would almost be understandable—but you left town. You left the state. Who the hell does that?” He dares to touch her arm but she pushes him away.

“Leave me alone, Wade.”

He lets her go because there’s no way he’s about to chase her down the street. Not at this time of night and not when there’s a police cruiser sitting on the corner. At this point she probably wouldn’t bail him out of jail.

He goes back to the diner, just like he said he would and drinks three more cups of coffee. He needs to be awake and alert because when he gets back to her place they’re going to have it out. He’s had enough of the two of them dancing around their issues and whether she wants to admit it or not, she is too.

He has to use his key to get into her apartment. It’s dark and still inside and the only sound is his footsteps and the soft click of the lock when he slides it over behind him.

Illuminated by the moonlight coming in through the kitchen window he can see his bag, already packed, on one of the chairs and a slip of paper on the table. A boarding pass for a flight back to Alabama in the morning and he has to laugh lightly as he puts it back down. She works fast.

The door to her bedroom is closed but unlocked and he takes that as a loose invitation. The ambient light from the living room floods enough of the bedroom for him to see her lying in bed and tightly close her eyes when he appears in the doorway.

He smirks and closes the door then leans back against it. “Too slow sweetheart, I know you’re awake. You know you really can’t claim to be the grownup in this relationship if you’re always the one running away.”

“What relationship?”

“Knew you were awake.” He says quickly with a hint of a teasing tone to his voice. He’ll keep this light.

“What relationship, Wade?”

“Don’t act like this is one sided. Again.” He adds after a pause.

“What do you mean, again?”

“Um…I know you have feelings for me, Wade, why don’t you just admit it?” He imitates her. “And, you’ve got feelings for me and I don’t. Remember that? I know it was awhile ago but I remember it. I hope you remember that it was you that told me to come and sleep in this bed with you.”

“You were cold, you’re my friend.”

“With benefits?”

“It was only one time.”

“I’m not talking about that. I guess I am, kind of, but you left before that one time could ever really become anything so there wasn’t a chance for a repeat. What I’m talking about is you kissing me. You kiss me.”

“So?”

“So you don’t get to do that. You introduce me to all those people as your friend but you’re back here sleeping next to me every night and kissing me. Are you ashamed of me or something? Because I’ve been trying real hard to make you not ashamed of me.”

She sits up in bed because she is literally not going to take this lying down. “I’m not ashamed of you.”

“Then what is it?”

“You’re just mad that I that I didn’t give you a chance to leave first.”

Keeping it light flies out the window officially with that one. That hurt. She really thinks that’s what he had planned.

He clears his throat to buy time to figure out what he wants to say so it comes out perfect. For once in his life he’s going to do something perfectly the first time.

“I wish you thought that there was more to me than just that. I wish everyone did, I guess, but I really wish you did because…” He pauses to collect himself. “Dammit, Zoe.” It comes out as a rushed and nervous laugh and he can feel this perfect speech of his disappear as quickly as the light conversation did. “Did you really think that’s what I was going to forget it? Act like it never happened and just get on with my life? I wasn’t going to do that. I wanted it to happen again. I wanted more because I thought that I finally had someone that I really wanted and someone that wanted me and it would finally work out because honestly Doc, I was long overdue for something to go right and you were it.”

“I didn’t know.”

“How could you not have known?”

“You didn’t say anything. You should’ve told me.”

He covers his face with his hands and rubs his fingertips against his temples. “Yeah, okay, maybe.”

“Definitely.”

“Okay.” He holds his hands in front of him. “I’ll admit it. We should’ve talked more before anything happened but we didn’t. We could’ve also talked and sorted things out the next day but you took off. You thought you knew what I wanted. You gotta take some responsibility for that.”

“You’re right.” She shifts on the bed. “So what do you want now?”

“I want you to come home with me.”

“Wade, that’s….”

“Hey, you asked me what I wanted and you’re gonna have to accept that maybe that’s not something you want to hear.” He snaps and then regrets it when he sees her head drop in defeat. He sighs and walks over to her. She moves her legs beneath the covers to make room for him to sit down. “Are you over George?”

“Yes.” She says without a second thought and he’s silent for a moment like he’s analyzing that one word response looking for a sign of deception. She reaches out for him in the dark and gets a hold of his wrists. “I am. I mean it. I wasted a lot of time with that. I shouldn’t have done that.” She’s whispering but the darkness makes it sound louder. “That’s done.” She hasn’t thought about George in a long time. He might have been a reason behind her leaving but he wasn’t why she stayed away. “I spent so much time focusing on him that I didn’t really see you. It’s like I knew that you were there…” She takes a deep breath when he pulls his hands back so his fingers lace through hers. It feels incredibly intimate and that’s something they don’t do. They’re hard and fast and this is so simple and calm. “But I never thought that you and I could ever…” She lifts their hands. “Do this.”

He squeezes her hands and leans in. “We can. You like me and I like you, we can do this.”

“How? You have to go home and I’m here.”

“You don’t always have to be here.”

“Wade.”

“Do what you have to do here; you’re almost done with the fellowship right? You got a few months left and then come home. Brick could use the help. He’d never admit it but he won’t turn you away.”

“Bluebell isn’t my home.”

“And Boston is? Zoe, it’s wherever you want it to be.”

He’s close enough to see her and the tears that are welling up in her eyes.

“Is it just anywhere that I’m not?” He says slowly. She doesn’t say anything but looks down at their hands instead and he starts to bring himself to his feet. “Okay, well, thanks letting me know.”

“Wade, wait.” She doesn’t let go of his hands.

“Thanks for the ticket too. I’ll pay you back.”

“Wade.”

“I’ll write you a check or something.”

“Stop.” She pulls him to her, unwinds her fingers from his and threads them through his hair instead as she kisses him.

He gives in for the first time (maybe because he feels like it’ll also be the last time) and kisses her back. His tie is already loose so it’s the first to come off followed by his jacket and shirt and then he pushes her into the mattress and the pillows with his hands against every bit of her skin and his mouth.

He says her name to stop himself from telling her that he loves her and misses her and wants her back in his life all the time, always and that his mother’s engagement ring is tucked into the inner pocket of his duffle bag if she wants it or ever wants it—it’s hers.

She tries to fall asleep with her head on his shoulder, face pressed to his neck with her arm over his chest like she’s trying to keep him there. Ultimately none of it works. She doesn’t ever fall asleep; neither does he, and as soon as the first hint of light comes streaming through the widow and hits their clothes that have been tossed into a pile, mixed together, on the floor he’s sliding out of bed and out of the room.

He comes back in, showed and dressed with his bag beside him and the boarding pass in his hand. He leans down and separates his clothes from hers and shoves them into the bag and when he stands back up she’s staring past him to a spot on the wall.

“I’m gonna miss my flight.”

She doesn’t say anything; doesn’t drag her eyes away from that spot on the wall.

“Zoe.”

She bites her lip and her eyes dart to him.

“Is that it?” He asks. “You got nothing to say to me?”

“What do you want me to say?”

He laughs in exasperation. “Tell me to stay or that you’ll come with me or you’ll think about coming back eventually.” He says weakly. “Tell me you don’t want me or that you want to just be my friend. Tell me anything.”

“Wade, I’m sorry.”

It’s a cop out and they both know it. She doesn’t know what to say and even saying that to him and admitting it would mean more to him than I’m sorry.

He rolls his eyes and shakes his head as he adjusts his duffle bag on his shoulder. “Well, thanks for that.”

“Wade, wait.”

“Zoe, its fine. Don’t worry about it.”

“It’s not fine.” She’s out of bed with the sheet wrapped around her even though it’s completely unnecessary.

“No, it’s not. It’s not fine but if that’s all you have then that’s all you have. Just forget about it.”

She searches his face with those, big, sad, brown eyes and he hates that he can’t walk out on her like he wants to. He has to make sure that she’s okay before he leaves.

“No hard feelings.” He says as he leans down to kiss her cheek. “Good luck with everything, I hope you get what you want.”

“You too.”

He narrows his eyes because she has to know that all he wants is standing in front of him and he’s about to walk away.

She doesn’t follow him out of her bedroom and they never actually say goodbye.

She never calls him once he’s home and he doesn’t call her. They can’t and won’t ever get close to anything without it falling apart. It’s been months since he’s seen her but he still thinks about her all the time. He hasn’t even gotten to the point where he’s pretending that he’s over it but he hopes that it comes soon because he’s getting tired of all the looks he’s been getting. He can’t get away from them now. There’s nowhere to escape to this time.

He’s tired of it all and he’s starting to get in the way of his work. He’s been sitting alone in his bar for the past hour trying to figure out why he’s fifty dollars short for the week. He keeps going over the numbers, over and over again trying to find where he went wrong and he can’t get away from the feeling that there’s some irony to that. It’s got to be some kind of stupid mistake (again with the irony, all he makes are stupid mistakes) like a number written the wrong way or some simple math that he did wrong. He was never good at math and it’s giving him a headache but at least it’s that math and not Zoe that’s doing it. He takes some comfort in that.

The door opens and he rolls his eyes but doesn’t look up. He forgot to lock it.

“Closed, but it’s my fault. Didn’t lock up and I’m feeling kind of generous tonight. So what do you want?”

His eyes flick away from the paper and when he sees her standing there in her shorts and designer blouse and heels with a suitcase behind her the pencil that he’s holding drops from his hand and rolls across the table.

“Hey.” She’s smiling nervously like she’s terrified that he won’t smile back. “I finished the fellowship. They offered me a job.”

“They’d be crazy not to.”

The smile shifts from nervous to genuine at his compliment but changes back again because his face is still hard set.

“I turned it down. I said that I appreciated the offer and if I had gotten it three years ago I would’ve been all over it. It would’ve been exactly what I wanted but things have changed. I told them that I had to go home.”

He pushes himself away from the table and walks over to her.

“You could’ve told me you were coming.”

“Like you told me you were coming to see me?”

“That’s different. I didn’t know if you wanted me there.”

“How’s that any different from me.”

He shakes his head at her and puts his hand on her waist.

“You know I want you here.”

“Still?”

He nods. “You sure you want to be here?”

She lets go of her suitcase and lays her hand on his chest. “I’m positive.”

The corners of his mouth turn upwards as he his other hand moves to the other side of her waist and he drags her closer to him.

“I like your bar.” She says nonchalantly, looking around the place before she looks back at him.

He ducks his head and kisses her, smiling against her lips when her fingers curl into his shirt.

“I like you in my bar.”

He meets her halfway for another kiss.

She feels at home.


End file.
